This article isn’t flashy but it’s an important one for those of us who actively fight and engage with the segments of America who generally dislike us. And by “dislike,” I group together everything from simple dismissal to raw, homicidal hatred.
Unfortunately, transkids, the most vulnerable of all our community, are in the cross-hairs of the haters. There are many reasons of course, but the primary one is the passage last year of a law giving protections for transgender California kids who simply want to use the proper bathroom and play on the proper sports teams. Of course, by writing “proper” I can be accused of using just a little bit of propaganda myself…at least I’m forthright by it.
So bookmark this article at the link below, if you often engage with the haters, as it contains some hard facts which are the truth, and help our cause.
Not everyone who believes in what is called the” traditional family” is “right wing” nor a “hater”. It does not help the cause to label, mislabel and stereotype any and every one who does not understand, and may themselves be searching for scientific knowledge of the transgender condition and issues.
I am one such person, being the parent of an adult MtF son/daughter who came out recently but only to a select few family members and friends. Totally blindsided and sucker punched can only begin to describe my feelings. I love my children with all my heart and am trying to educate myself. I have a warm, loving relationship with my son/daughter (at the moment he does not change his appearance) and we never had a clue that he felt the way he does.
What I have found in my search for understanding, is a bias against myself when asking questions, expressing shock and confusion, while basically trying to “get my head around” it all. I hear and see so much venom coming from some in the LGBT community against people just because they are ignorant! I have been scolded by counselors and psychologists who have expected me to to magically put aside all of my own feelings of confusion and my heartbreak and concern for my son, and pretend all is as it should be and just stifle it. They of all people should know it’s a process!
We have an intact family but have pressures and problems from all sides like everybody else. And I don’t reject or act hateful to anyone no matter different from me they are.
I came to this site quite by accident, looking for answers and read Una’s article on the brain. Not the first such article I have read. Then I saw the article about “right wing haters”. Oh boy. Here we go again. People being stereotyped and labeled by other people who don’t want to be labeled and stereotyped. I’m not saying that hate (on both sides) doesn’t exist. But PLEASE let’s dial it back so people can find their way without encountering even more pain.
I know this probably doesn’t really fit with this article, but I couldn’t even read on when I read the comments of the author. There are two sides to every story and I felt as if I was suppose to dismiss the the concerns and feelings of one side, or even feel animosity toward them, before even reading the article.
Thank you for listening. I look forward to learning more….
Let me explain and forgive this if is sounds confrontational. I feel that we need to just cut to the facts in a language we can all understand.
The post is correct within the context of the article. As far as this site goes, there is no blanket anti-right wing or anti-conservative bias. The mother of a transgender daughter who posts on this blog is very conservative, for example, as are others.
If you had read the linked article or followed the events in California with the Pacific Justice Institute, you would have seen a right-wing conservative group and their deliberate lies, exposed by Christen Williams, regarding transgender kids in schools in Colorado and California. This is the entire topic of the linked news article. When someone lies deliberately to demonize me and my people then yes, they are haters. I do not believe this is a debatable definition. It would be like saying “the Klan aren’t haters, they’re just ignorant.”
“Hate on both sides” also has a context problem – in the context of transgender people, there is no comparison between which side wants to honor our civil rights and which side wants to strip them away.
The problem with those who “believe in the traditional family” is they have successfully campaigned to remove my civil rights and make me and mine second-class citizens. Denying me the right to be legally married to my spouse is not hateful? Denying me the right to receive government benefits, denying me legal protections, denying me visitation rights at hospitals, is not hateful? At absolute best it’s someone forcing their religious beliefs down my throat to remove my civil rights, and that’s not very accepting either.
You may wonder why we’re angry. Your civil rights are (likely) intact. Ours aren’t. It makes a difference.
I welcome your comments, but with respect I feel you would have posted differently if you had taken some time to read the linked news article.
Indeed, I should have read it. I do believe that all of us are being denied our civil rights in one area or another.
I too am the parent of a transgender child, would consider myself “spiritual” &/or “religious” and “right” leaning/libertarian. (Live and let live). Does that “assign” me to any particular group? If I’m going to hate, I would say I hate being labeled and lumped in with someone’s stereotype of any of the said groups. “Right wing” does not equal hate. The “religious” people in this country are being denied their constitutional & civil rights along with everyone else. And I have seen hate and bias on ALL sides. BUT, that does not mean that I think ALL people of any particular persuasion fit neatly into the box I wish to assign them, so that I can direct my anger and frustration at them. I think everyone should have the right to express their beliefs, philosophies, perspectives etc. I don’t have to like them or agree with them. But they should have the same rights I wish to have.
If you met me in “real life” would you automatically assume that I am “living my boring life in my safe, gated community” , being “hateful” just because I’m not like you or even ignorant of your lifestyle? I don’t live in a gated community , btw, but I do live the suburbs in a fairly safe, average neighborhood. That doesn’t make me a despicable person. I’m just living my life as best as I can and trying to overcome struggles and pain that eventually comes to everyone in life.
I don’t know you, so I don’t want to make assumptions about you. Granted, from reading only a little of this blog, I’d say you do sound a bit angry and probably with good reason. To be fair, I also have good reason to feel angry about many things too.
I don’t want to sound confrontational either. Just trying to understand and be understood. We can’t achieve that without communication.
Communication is essential and healthy. Presumption and prejudice are destructive.
We don’t live in a perfect world, but we can all strive to be better people.
Thanks for the informative blog.
God bless.
JustMe,
You ask if I am angry, and the answer is “sometimes.” But it’s rarely for myself when it comes to transgender people.
I have a charmed life. I have a great career which accepted me fully with opened arms when I transitioned. I have a wife who loves me deeply for being transgender, lots of friends, and a nice little safe house. There is little that’s wrong with my life.
Every week I help counsel transgender persons who have been abused, denied their rights, spit on, beaten, and raped. I wish I could say it was just one or two…instead of hundreds. They live unemployed or underemployed. They live in their cars. They live on the streets. This is the reality of transgender life in America. How many under-16 kids have been thrown out of their house and had to prostitute themselves on the streets because they were Christian? Any? I know of perhaps a dozen transpeople who were thrown out of their houses and forced on the streets for being transgender.
My cause demands that I be a little hot under the collar, to give some passion to words to try to reinforce to readers that this is serious business. When 40% of more of transpeople attempt suicide, when 20-30% are fired for being transgender, when they are denied medical care, denied education…this is life or death.