This has made the usual rounds of the blogs, dear readers, and I have tried my best to avoid covering it. Why, you may ask? Because the story appears to have the hallmarks of a publicity-seeking fabrication.
The story in a nutshell, albeit a large one (perhaps a Brazil nut?) is that:
- A woman named Taylor Lianne Chandler claims to be both Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps’ girlfriend, as well as having been born David Roy Fitch.
- She claims to be intersex, having been born with a penis and a uterus, and having undergone surgery and hormones to be female.
- She claims she and Phelps have an ‘amazing sex life,’ and that they even had sex at a Baltimore Ravens football game (nothing else to do, I suppose…)
- She now is worried that Phelps may no longer want to be with her due to this admission.
It’s sort of the perfect setup: “I’m his secret girlfriend, but when I tell you this he will disavow all knowledge of our relationship.” The only thing missing is a tape recorder which self-destructs in 5 seconds. I’m wondering if I should try this with Keira Knightly.
“Keira and I had a torrid love affair which took place only in the lavatories of First-Class trans-Atlantic British Air flights,” claimed Una. “She taught me this special thing to do to her, called ‘Bend it like Ellen,’ which used to make her scream my name! Sadly, she swore me to secrecy because her agent said having a transsexual lesbian girlfriend would cramp her style.” Una then gazed into the distance, and whispered “but I miss her so…I had to tell the world…sniffle..sob.”
Note for the record that if Ms. Chandler does turn out to be Phelps’ girlfriend, I’m going to appear a rather catty bitch…